How I've changed as a mom....

The fact that I'm having another baby soon has made me more contemplative and self-reflective lately. I realized that being a mom has changed me in a lot of ways, some good, some bad, and some I have yet to digest. But I figure I would write down some of my thoughts of how I changed personally BEFORE baby #3 comes, so I can have a point of comparison for later on. :)

Being a mom of one -
1. I became more environmentally-conscious, esp as I take out a bag of diapers every other day to be disposed of in the landfills. [Note: Totally a personal conviction that I only applied to myself.] And when Aidan started chewing everything, I started to think about the chemicals I cleaned with and started researching more natural ways of cleaning, as well.
2. I was a nap-nazi! :) Almost everything revolved around whether Aidan could take a good nap or not. I got annoyed when he didn't get a good nap or when circumstances prevented him from even having one. My main thought was that if he didn't nap well, MY day didn't go well because he was grumpy or fussy. A valid point but I think in retrospect, it prevented me from doing some things that I wish I could've done. I did have days that were just for me when I got to do things when I wanted to regardless of his nap schedule but on other days, his naps took precedence. Thank goodness he had a pretty good schedule, so I did go out when he was supposed to be awake! :)
3. I made charts and list of when he hit his milestones - our calendar was covered with what Aidan did. :) I also had a mega chart of when he slept, how long he slept, when he ate, how often he poo'd/pee'd til he was about ONE - it was a masterpiece! LOL!
4. I discovered how much I could care for someone I had only known for a bit. :)
5. Because Aidan was such an easy-going and happy baby AND I did a modified version of Babywise with him, I totally believed in the Babywise method and touted it to anyone that asked. I had no idea that it doesn't work with every baby. Oops. ;)
6. I took advice from trusted sources pretty seriously and tried to do everything by the book - giving veggies first, tummy time everyday, baby sign language, blah, blah. But, thank goodness, early on, I had people in my life who were moms of many kids give me advice as well - this helped broaden my thinking a bit at the time. :)
7. I learned how important it is to still have 'couple time', even though taking care of Aidan took up a lot of time. We went out on our first date within 2 weeks of him being born. Having in-laws 7 minutes away really helped! :) Even so, sometimes we would forget and months would pass before we would go on another date...

Being a mom of two-
1. Naps are still important but now that I have 2 schedules to contend with, I realized that Jana would be ok even if the naps were interrupted sometimes. I also try to schedule their naps together, so that I would have some 'peace and quiet' time for me - and those weren't exactly the times that they were super sleepy. :P What they say is true, parenting became more relaxed for me (though I thought I was pretty relaxed before...;)). Maybe the fact that less things are in my control that made me decide to be more relaxed! :D
2. I did the modified Babywise method with Jana, as well, but she didn't sleep through the night as early as Aidan did. New conclusion: This method doesn't work the same with every baby. :)
3. Cloth diapering and being more 'natural' became more fun! Girly diapers are like girly clothes - so much more to choose from and more fun prints! :)
4. We tried to record all the milestones for Jana, as well, but started falling behind when the busyness of just taking care of the kiddies took over!
5. Jana didn't love solids, so I ended up giving her fruits first *gasp* - but she turned out to eat a bigger variety of foods than Aidan..hehe.
6. I started to understand what my priorities were and tried to manage my time better, esp with 2 vying for my attention. I also knew that I needed something other than mothering in my life as an outlet of sorts. So I joined the condo association board in my neighborhood for a start. Still trying to revive my interests and make time for those.
7. I continued to be more open-minded about how others parent and learn from the moms that I'm friends with but are so different from me. I also learned to take things less personally, esp when others make comments about my style of parenting. But that's so hard because when you stay-at-home and parenting is "all you do", it almost becomes a reflection of who you are...at least that was subconsciously how I felt. After praying about this a lot, I felt like God was saying that you can do only the best you can and leave the rest up to Him. And children are going to be children, no matter what we do - they are going to have their quirks, their bad days, but also days when they are so lovable! :) Plus, you are not just a mom but so many other things as well....that yes, being a mother is the prominent thing in this season because we have kids but that I have to keep growing as a person, too.

Anyhow, all this to say that mothering showed me who I really am as a person (all the good and bad) and stretched me in ways that I didn't know I could be stretched. I definitely do enjoy it and am looking forward to see what other ways I am refined as I become a mom of three. I've been told that this transition is a real doozy, so please pray for us as we embark on that journey in a little over a month! :) Feel free to share your thoughts, too!

...thoughts on mothering

Having been a mom for over 3 years now, I've come to a realization about a few things that I would like to get down on "paper". So, here goes. :)

Motherhood is all about change, and it never stops. From the moment you're preggers, your life is not the same. [Not that life, non-preggers, ever stands still or anything - but being pregnant is a HUGE change!] We're talking fluctuating emotions, fluctuating hormones , the ever-expanding waistline [the one time I didn't love shopping b/c I had to do it so often!], and sometimes the swollen feet and on it goes. And from the moment that baby is born, life is REALLY never the same - not to mention the changes that goes on with your body just to get the baby out - but I'm not going to go there with this post. ;) Then after you get over those initial sleepless nights and feel like you've gotten some sort of routine down, the baby goes through a growth spurt or something else and it all changes up again. Then there are the discipline issues and then the worrying about school/homeschool and the blah, blah, blah. But in the midst of this, there is God who grants us so much grace. I've become so reliant on it these days, asking for enough grace to get through the day with the kids, to enjoy them and to enjoy the people around me, even if they don't seem to enjoy me. :) And through this change, we grow and mature and sometimes when I take a moment to look at where I was when Aidan was first born, I am definitely not who I was and that's a good thing. :)

Now that the kiddies are older, the issue of discipline crops up mulitple times everyday. ;P After reading lots about it and asking older moms about it, I've come to realize this one thing: tt's all about the heart attitude. I can say the same thing and possibly in the same tone, but if I'm truly angry inside, the kids can tell. And now that Aidan is articulate enough, he sometimes asks me "Are you annoyed?" Doh! How could he tell? All I said was "Please take your fork from between your toes and put it into your bowl." I even tried to say it without much emotion! Anyhow, so that's another area that I've been praying into - my heart attitude. And after praying more, I realize that there is still a lot of healing that needs to take place. We had gone to a marriage conference way back [more here] that spoke of how our past (from when we might be even too little to have much cognitive memory about it) can still affect you today, causing you to have strong negative emotions about situations that shouldn't cause you to react that strongly. So, praise God for being able to fix us up, even when we don't always know what's wrong!

I had spoken to other moms about this before and we all agree that motherhood is a refining process. Through the sleepness nights, transitions, discipline issues and such, we find out who we are. I thought I was a pretty patient person. I thought I was good at giving grace. I thought I was good at giving without expecting in return. I thought I loved cooking. ;) Well, you get the idea. But I would say that I discovered some positive things about myself, too. I mean, after you give birth, or even just carried your baby for 9 months, you feel like Super Woman. [And you ARE for doing so!] So, praise God for allowing us these experiences to help us become the person that He wants us to be: free, loving, compassionate, wise, strong and fully reliant on Him. :)

I am so humbled that God chose me to be my kiddies' mom - I do feel so inadequate sometimes but I remember that God calls us to do impossible things b/c He wants us to rely on Him and have peace through it all. Sometimes, it's hard not to compare to those SuperMoms out there who seem to do everything so well. But God reminded me not to compare but to bless them and do my best, giving the hard areas to Him and have PEACE. More peace, Jesus! :)

There's more that I've learned but I haven't digested it all yet. But if anyone has anything else to share, please do!